Eulogy
By Wendy Stow

On behalf of Lorna's family and friends, it is my amazing privilege to have this opportunity to honour my beloved mum's heroic life.

Lorna Jean Stow was born on the 19^th of April 1920 to parents John Frederick Smerdon, a linotype operator, and Jessie Mabel Smerdon. She was the second child but sadly the first child had died not so long ago. Three more children followed, another child died and so mum was then the eldest of three. Brother Ken, 2 years younger is here today; sister Merle, 7 years younger cannot be here today due to illness. Mum grew up in the house that is her present home at Mile End - she was always most comfortable close to family and friendship roots, which makes the saga of her life, 25 years of which was spent away from her family in Victoria, even more poignant.

Mum was always sensitive and a little fragile but in the course of her life she developed a remarkable inner strength and extraordinary ability to cope with whatever life threw her way. Her challenges began early. Her father became critically ill when she was a small child and he died when she was about 10. Jessie, my Nana, had to work and cleaned the local school. She relied on mum, as the eldest child, to get the others off to school or into bed or whatever it might be. Discipline was tough and appreciation was scarce. But, like her bother Ken, mum was a positive and sociable child and later she shared many joyful stories of her youth with us. She conveyed to us an impression of many happy times, filled with the blessings of a tight knit, extended family and group of friends.

Mum completed commercial studies at Adelaide Girl's High School - incidentally the same school her mother attended before her and that I attended more than 30 years later. Her early working life was at Richards (Chryslers).

As for many people of the time, mum's life changed with the advent of WWII. She enlisted into the WAAAF as a radar operator in 1942 and was initially stationed in the radio school at Richmond in NSW. To quote from one of mum's own more recent letters, "we were told that our job was very hush hush, which made us feel very important. I remember well our first day at Richmond. When being issued with messing gear the store had run out of forks. What a tragedy! But you didn't let a little thing like that beat you. Off we went to Sydney on leave the next weekend and everyone came back with a fork. We even had instructions from one of our colleagues on how to palm a fork and slip it up the sleeves of our coats. I often wondered if any of the Sydney Hotels or cafes ever compared notes and why the sudden raid on forks! My fork was branded "Adams" and I had it for years. The WAAF were accommodated in cottages; ours had a fish pond (it's in one of the photos on our display). We all gathered in the rec hut of an evening and had many a happy sing along and dance."

From Richmond Mum transferred to Frognall in Melbourne where she spent the rest of her service until the end of the war as a cipher assistant.

Good things often come out of bad. Wartime built camaraderie among the young service personnel and gave women a valued place in the world. And from mum's letter, you can see her familiar personality being expressed in those very early days. Here was a cheerful, friendly girl with a quirky sense of fun and mischief, proud to serve her country, sentimental, loving music and dancing and always dedicated to her work and the people close to her. Mum received two medals: the War Medal and the Australian Service Medal and these are on display here today.

The next chapter of mum's life began when, on the way home on leave, she met a young sailor on a train. Mum's sister Merle, then about 17 said to mum many times, "there you are meeting all these handsome service fellows; why don't you ever bring one home for me?" So mum brought Stoker Jack Stow home to meet Merle. As fate would have it Merle had a date that night and so mum was "stuck with" having to entertain Jack. Romance blossomed and Jack who was on his way to his posting in Darwin courted mum by mail. They were married on 27 November 1945 and settled in Victoria. Robert, Norman and Wendy followed in 1946, 1948 and 1953 respectively.

Married life for mum was far from the fairytale Hollywood promised. Life was tough, really tough. Mum felt isolated without her friends and family but her pride prevented her from telling anyone how bad things had become for her. She stoically kept going, somehow managing to provide we children with the bare necessities of life and an abundance of the greatest essential in life - unconditional love and support. And somehow through it all, mum's sense of humour enabled us, as a family, to laugh together when recalling some of the most distressing events, where perhaps others less positive than mum would only be able to express sorrow and bitterness.

When I started school, mum went to work at HJ Heinz as a stenographer and regained her pride, a sense of purpose and many lifetime friends. Throughout her life mum made and kept many very dear friends. Along with her family, her friends were her lifeblood. As a child, I always thought my mum was like a movie star - slim and pretty, socially confident, gentle, sympathetic and gracious.

Those close to her will know that Mum, a notorious flirt, but also a loyal soul, only ever loved my dad, Jack. However, after 20 years of hard work by mum inspired by love and hope, mum and dad finally separated and she returned to Adelaide, the Mile End home, to look after her ill mother. Bob and Norm had joined the Army and I went with mum. She soon was re-employed by HJ Heinz in Adelaide and gave 20 years service by the time she retired.

In these later years we children saw a new mother gradually emerge - like a butterfly from a long-time cocoon. She became adventurous, happy and independent, discovering a love of travelling and establishing herself back amongst long time Adelaide friends and family. She developed her love of chocolates and creamy desserts and annoyed us all because she never put on any weight.

She became the devoted nana travelling all over the place to be with her children and grandchildren and friends. She loved playing with kids, joining them in all their games. She was like a second parent to my own son Cris.

In a final chapter mum became active as Secretary in the WAAF Association Central Branch, making yet another set of firm long-term buddies, did voluntary work for Southern Cross Homes, gave generously to numerous charities and developed her crossword and jigsaw puzzle solving skills. She beat everyone at scrabble including me a few months before she passed away. She remembered everyone's birthdays and special occasions with specially selected cards and gifts. One of her most difficult times recently was not being able to get cards out in time for last Christmas when she was very sick in hospital, so we had to write to everyone after and apologise. She loved animals and was very sad to have to have to send Bluey her cat to a new home because of her breathing problems. Her love of a good story transferred from the old-time movies into the day-time soapies, none of which matched the amazing story of her own life.

Finally, I want to say thank you to all the professionals who went beyond the bounds of duty to care for mum and make her life as comfortable as possible. In particular, Dr Juliana Nicholls, Vicki Burrett rehab adviser at Ashford south west campus, Fay Tregenza Carer with Western home services, and all the nurses and staff at mum's hospital, in community nursing and in the nursing homes who she praised so highly. On mum's behalf, thanks to all the family and friends who did things for her or visited or telephoned or just loved her.

Mum you were the most beautiful person I have ever known. All of us will love you and miss you always. We are comforted knowing that you are no longer suffering, that you now have the peace and the place with God that you have earned. All of us thank you for bringing so many wonderful moments into our lives, so many powerful lessons and so much love. Farewell Lorna, our darling mum, sister, nana, grandnan, great mate.

Wendy Stow - 28th March 2002